Quotes from Home is Where the Ducks Are

Mike: Do you think I'm handsome?
Ed: Yes, Mike, you're a handsome man.
Mike: What do you think my handsomest feature is?
Ed: Your forehead.
Mike: Thanks.
Ed: You got it.

Kendricks: Care for a Toblerone?
Ed: No, thanks.
Kendricks: You sure? They're triangular.

Kendricks: What good is being mayor if you can't stroll the streets with a monacle perched jauntily in your eye socket?

Carol: I have wanted to be a writer since I was eight years old. How many novels have I written?
Ed: Um, nine.
Carol: Zero.
Ed: Zero.
Carol: Zero!

Ed: He's like the American Mark Twain.
Judy: Mark Twain was American.
Ed: Yeah, but, if Mark Twain were Chinese Mr. Wilkies would be the American Mark Twain.

A seven-letter word for tiny TV tot.
Ed: That would be Webster.
I'm gonna make you a Key Lime Pie.
Ed: No, no, you don't have to...
Key Lime Pie!
Ed: If you insist.

Ed: When I left New York I was running away from my problems, y'know, shipwrecked marriage, capsizing career, I was adrift... these are my boating analogies.

Ed: Please, Carol, it's plainly obvious you cannot resist me in the big wacky duck suit.
Carol: Do you see this? This is me resisting you.
Ed: Look at you, you are just dying to climb in here with me.
Molly: Okay, if you keep this up you're gonna be hanging in the window of a Chinese restaurant.

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